Something strange is going on. I'm tired. Drag out, knock down, tired. All. The. Time. I guess it's not really all that strange. I think there are many reasons for this exhaustion, including the fact that no matter what time I plan to go to bed, during the week or on the weekend, I end up getting much less sleep than I meant to. Also, I'm drinking a lot of water which makes me have to go to the bathroom multiple times during the night. My mind won't stop churning with to-do lists, worries and questions that keep me unfocused and unsettled. And I feel extremely busy, although it never seems like I'm getting anything done. I'm all wound up, but relaxing seems like just another thing on my long list of stuff to do.
The good news is that I'm working out pretty regularly, and eating relatively healthy (most of the time). You would think those things would make a positive difference in my energy level, but they don't seem to be helping. I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I weren't exercising and eating well.
As a hypochondriac of the highest order, I've suspected everything from depression to a thyroid disorder, but when it all comes down to it, I think I'm just tired. As a single, professional woman who owns her own home, not only do I have part-time freelance writing projects to complete in addition to my full-time job, but I also have all the responsibilities of keeping my house in order set squarely on this one set of shoulders. When I'm not working, I'm spending my precious time washing the pile of dishes that never seems to shrink, cooking healthy meals, putting away clothes that I keep having to clean, dusting and vacuuming and tidying up, all the while worrying that I'm not finishing that novel or sending out more queries or writing those blog posts and articles that I should be writing.
My body is not taking this well. I'm run down and even when I have available time these days to check things off that to-do list, I'm too physically and mentally tired to get moving. I think it's time to filter, to focus on the important stuff and not worry so much about getting all the little things just right. Do I really need to download that podcast? Is it really necessary to read that long list of feeds every day? Can the dishes wait until tomorrow? Will I regret not having seen this week's episode of some show or another?
I'm one person. I can't do it all. I need to pare down, get centered, find my priorities and leave the rest behind. Otherwise, I'm likely to fall apart. And it won't be pretty.