I'm not a very confrontational person. I rarely argue, or even debate. In fact, I can honestly say that there are very few topics or issues on which I have a strong enough opinion to warrant the slightest rise of my voice. I listen and learn. I let others do the talking. I stay out of the ring. Sure, I stand up for what I believe in, if I believe in it strongly. But I've never been assertive about what I want or need. Until now, that is.
 
It turns out that life doesn't just hand out the good stuff. You have to be willing to get out there and take it, or at least ask for it. Most people (meaning anyone from your neighbor to the telephone company) won't offer up help or compensation unless they know you want it--and then sometimes you have to convince them just how badly.
 
So I've started taking baby-steps toward grabbing the proverbial bull by the horns. When my DSL service took weeks to go live despite multiple calls to Verizon for support, I called up the company and requested a refund for my first month of service. They gladly credited my account. But had I not called, the $15 wouldn't have been magically subtracted from my next month's bill. And when my old gym started charging me for a renewed membership I hadn't authorized, I called and asked that the membership be cancelled for good and the two months worth of charges be refunded to my account. They quickly obliged. I have to work for it, but it turns out that if I'm willing to make the effort, businesses in particular are willing to give me my due.
 
Than I took it a step further. I called up a friend that I've been doing some pro-bono freelance for and asked to get paid. As simply as that, I increased my monthly income. Mind you, it's a measly increase, but it's payment for my labor. And it's probably more than she could afford. But because I asked, because I'm worth it (and so much more) she agreed to send me a check each month.
 
Now I'm finding myself making lists of ways I can use my newly discovered powers. I'm looking forward to beginning my search for a house of my very own (more on that to come later) because I'll have ample opportunities to practice asking for more and flexing my bargaining muscles. And I can't wait until my next review at work. My boss doesn't have a clue what he's in for. Six figures, here I come! Ahem, ok, I'll still be at the lower end of the five figures, but forget that teeny-tiny 5% cost of living raise I'm used to. I'm shooting for the stars. Besides, the best lesson I'm learning about asking for what I want is that the worst that can happen is I'll hear that two-letter word, "No."

And the best that can happen? I just might get what I asked for.

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