g1ynfpo0urv3xdek

cont'd: (see previous advice column: "Get More Power from Powerful Advice"); ask for support, ideas, and strategies. *If you ultimately decide to move on, you’ll have your success file and resume—and your self-confidence—up to speed. And you'll have your advisory board behind you. *Focus on being considered “brilliant in your field”, not on bitterness about having moved into a bad organizational fit. There are countless opportunities out there for you. The world is your oyster—it just may not seem that way today. Sincerely, Debra Condren

cont'd. *Keep notes from thrilled clients. *Don’t be shy about asking a client to call your boss or CEO. *Use E-mail for taking credit. If you’ve done something great, send an e-mail to somebody (boss, client, etc.) that either tells the story or conveys an idea that is sophisticated and reflects the level of skill that has caused you to be successful—without directly telling how great you are. *You’re showing, not telling; showcasing your brilliance by making your thought processes, decision tree, or obstacles you faced and how you overcame these challenges transparent: “As I was doing this [name the specific project or interaction], I had this insight…[and then be specific, yet succinct.]” *When you receive compliments via e-mail, immediately forward away—to your boss, to your team, only adding, F.Y.I. in the subject line. The rest—all that needs to be communicated about your contribution gets communicated in the complimentary e-mail. *Tap your board of advisors (see previous column

Re: Anonymous, Aug. 31, 2007 - Power Cliques. You stated that “No amount of reasonable talks with my supervisor will endear me or…change the system.” Stop talking/trying to reason. It’s time to show, not tell. Empower yourself by taking action. Whether you end up staying at this organization or ultimately moving, these action steps will position you to feel in control of your career again. **Starting now, keep a file on winning projects you’ve spearheaded. It will be your KaChing! File, filled with your successes. **Write a note-to-self summary at the completion of a project while the facts are still clear in your mind—do it right then and there, even if you’ve just pulled an all-nighter; record it while it’s fresh or you risk not doing it at all or forgetting important points. **Include hard numbers and dollar amounts documenting how your ideas, decision-making and leadership increased revenues, boosted the bottom line, improved customer retention, or led to better employee relat

My organization is ridden with power cliques. Those in the clique are put on the fast track and those who aren't and shoved in the broom closet. The fast-trackers often get the credit for the good ideas generated by others, and are put in the spot light, praised to upper management and given the hot issues to work on--always at the expense of the others. I am not in the clique--not now, nor in third grade when I began to see this unfortunate social pattern. No amount of reasonable talks with my supervisor will endear me or make them change the system. Why would they change? This is the system that works for THEM, and it is very effective--for them. If I try to prove myself by doing an excellent job, the project will be lifted from my desk, handed over to a clique member, and accredited thus. Before I came to this organization--moving across the country with my young family to do so--I was considered brilliant in my field. Now I feel like a fool and am losing career ground. Is

I finally decided to leave my live-in boyfriend of five years--for cheating. But long before I found him out, he'd always tried to undermine my confidence in my ability to run my own business. When I told him it was over, he begged and pleaded. He wanted to go to couple's counseling. He suddenly was ready to commit to marriage. Like Amy Winehouse, I said, "No, no, no..." What did he do out of desperation to try to manipulate me, or scare me into staying with him? He said (looking all earnest), "I'm really concerned that you're not going to make it financially on your own." Well, it's been three and a half years since I walked. I just bought my own house--first time homebuyer! And (maybe the planets are aligning) I've been dating a decent, honest man who I know is the one--and so does he. And guess what? My drive, my ambition, my fire, is one of the things he loves most about me. It feels amazing to have that moral support.

This posting came at a perfect time. I also question my bandwidth on how much time I spend with my boyfriend vs. the amount of time I spend with my own life.

Debra's right. Trust me, I just came out of this situation. My fiance was pressuring me to give up my big job (that bled into our weekends) for a littler job. I got his point that my work took away from us, but he did not do a good job communicating why that mattered to him. Somehow, he just fell back on the old perspective that a woman shouldn't work that much. When we FINALLY went to counseling (where were you Debra when we needed you?), it came out that he just felt jealous of that extra time and a little intimidated that he didn't have anything important that kept him from me. We spent a lot of time (and $$$) working it out but we got to a goo d end point. I got better at time management and prioritizing work requests, and he got better at finding affirming stuff to do with his free time. When he realized that my ambition was at the core of my identity (like Debra says), and that he loved that part of me, too, we found a way to move forward. But I remember clearly the mome